That wasn't it.

Home from teaching intersession.

Intersession is the brainchild of my district in response to NCLB where they say (blah, blah, blah) students will be required to attend extra hours of tutoring in content area they do not master on the benchmark tests. (Add more blah, blah, blah)

I was handed 5 students, 27 math objectives and 6 reading objectives and told to teach for 3 hours on each subject. In four days. With a deaf student who is darling but doesn't realize how much he talks while the others are desperately trying to compute 6 x 8 on their fingers. And an interpreter. An interpreter who forgot her lunch and had to go back in town and buy one. I teach in the middle of nowhere so it took her over an hour to go there and get back. When she got back, she still hadn't eaten. So now she had to eat. Sigh...

So we went to the computer lab for some funbrain.com. She never did show up again but she left a full paragraph thank you on the whiteboard in my room with a lovely row of flowers in multiple colors. I kinda wish she had spent that half hour coming to the lab to help me talk to my little guy but I guess my expections are just too high.

So where was I? Oh yes, 27 math objectives. Hahahahahahahahaha. In 4 days... hahahahahahahahaha. I ... do I need to even? I mean, do you realize? Yeah. And I wasn't kidding about them computing basic multiplication facts on their fingers. I gave them the big teacher lecture about how they MUST memorize their multiplication tables or they will never be able to get a job, not even at McDonald's and they will be doomed - maybe even end up being a teacher to a bunch of students during spring break when the other teachers are off enjoying manicures and pedicures while I am sitting in a classroom.... hey, wait a minute.....

Well, I DID give them the "memorize your x tables" lecture but we all know I am not the first to tell them that and I may as well have given the lecture to the can of diet pepsi that lovingly accompanied me today.

I tried to teach the little rhyming trick:

I had two eights
I dropped them on the floor
When I picked them up
I had...

A kid shouted:

62!

So not only does he need to learn math but rhyming words too.

All of this - just to say - I am looking for a treat. Yesterday, I treated myself to a nonfat caramel machiatto from the Church of Starbucks. I like to treat myself for working hard. So far today , I have tried 6 goldfish crackers. That wasn't it. A half teaspoon of Nutella with a handful of pretzels. That wasn't it. A water cracker. That wasn't it. A diet rootbeer. That wasn't it. A green apple. BAHAHAHAHAA! Yeah, that wasn't it.

Anyone have any ideas?