Overheard at Meet the Teacher Night
Dear Parents at Meet the Teacher Night,
Welcome! We are so glad you are able to make it tonight. We know that we will also be meeting you in 2 short weeks for curriculum night but it's nice to have this extra bit of time together so you can ask questions.
Parent # 1
No, the male teacher will NOT be putting up more "things" on the walls. Male teachers are often lacking in their decor but this particular male teacher actually loves art and has an eye for decorating. Don't you find that his lamps, reading and art center, and computer center are well done? Did you notice the 6 Traits posters he had up with the beautiful background her arranged? How about the alphabet line and the posters on strategies for good readers? Did you notice the math posters? How about the space for YOUR child's work? What else do you want him to put up? Rules and Strategies for Game Cube so your child can easily enjoy daydreaming time without having to stare at small white spot on the wall?
Parent #2
Sure, you can send my fellow teacher YOUR ideas for classroom discipline. Her email address is BITEME @ whereisyourteachingdegree.com. And while you're at it, can we have YOUR email address? We would like to send you OUR ideas for delivering the mail in a more timely fashion.
Parent #3
No, you may not have an extra copy of the new science books so that you can "go home and decide which lesson" you want to teach. See, you voted for President Bush. And, according to the man you insisted on electing again, you are not what he likes to calls "HIGHLY QUALIFIED". Sorry, Charlie! But here's the deal. Keep this hush hush, we won't tell, but... we'll let you come in and teach the new science curriculum if you let us come to your office and do a presentation/lesson on building better somethingorothers, since you are an engineer. Hey, it's doesn't matter that we don't really know what you do. Just give us the company manual and let us look at it and decide which THING we want to build. Ok?
Parent #4
Yes, that teacher IS going to use that "1st grade colors thing" for discipline. It's called Assertive Discipline (google Lee Cantor) and she has every right to use it if that is how she wants to manage her classroom. We are sorry that your child may have been saddened last year at having to be responsible for their behavior but it's 27 of them against one of us. We need management tools. Some choose Lee Cantor's approach and some choose other ways. As long as you have taught your child the proper way to manage their behavior at school, you won't have to worry about her ever having to color in her card with anything but the color green. Yellow and Red are SO traumatizing, we know! (cough, cough)
Parent #5
You are SO lucky your child is NOT in my classroom. You are lucky your child is allowed to attend this school. See... walking up to the teacher and announcing to him (first thing out of your mouth) "If you mess with my boy, I will kick your ass" is NOT a proper introduction according to Miss Manners. Your addition of "I am not threatening you, I tell all the teachers that" is not the appropriate follow up to your introductory statement.
You are lucky that you got a first year teacher that accepted your comment without escorting you to the door with one finger pointing to the door (you guess which one) while dialing 911 with the other finger -- as I would have done. I would have REFUSED your child in my classroom which is my right. I would have reported you to the police as threatening with a possible restraining order issued for you to not be withint 20 feet of my classroom even though your child is going to be attending the classroom next door to me (because he sure as hell is not going to be in my room).
Parent #6
Yes, that is a hint for you to leave when they came over the loudspeaker announcing "Thank you for attending Meet the Teacher Night" because you are now here 45 minnutes past the time that Meet the Teacher Night was supposed to be over and we have been here since 7:00 a.m. AND in an inservice. We have not eaten dinner. We have not used the restroom. Thank you for your understanding.
Parents # 7 - 28 (my new crop of parents - and I got a good crop, it appears! YEAH!)
THANK YOU for being sane! Thank you for caring enough to show up at Meet the Teacher night and asking questions about me and my family. Thank you for remembering that I don't do this for the MONEY, that I do it because I love watching your child's face light up when they FINALLY get long division or when they make oreo cookie sculptures after our science projects which measure if Double Stuf are REALLY double the stuff. Thank you for arriving during the ACTUAL hours of Meet the Teacher Night and not expecting me to be there an hour past the scheduled time. I appreciate that one act of respect more than you will ever know.
THANK YOU for your smiles, your care, and your concern that your little one will be with me for the next 9 months. I won't let you down.
Welcome! We are so glad you are able to make it tonight. We know that we will also be meeting you in 2 short weeks for curriculum night but it's nice to have this extra bit of time together so you can ask questions.
Parent # 1
No, the male teacher will NOT be putting up more "things" on the walls. Male teachers are often lacking in their decor but this particular male teacher actually loves art and has an eye for decorating. Don't you find that his lamps, reading and art center, and computer center are well done? Did you notice the 6 Traits posters he had up with the beautiful background her arranged? How about the alphabet line and the posters on strategies for good readers? Did you notice the math posters? How about the space for YOUR child's work? What else do you want him to put up? Rules and Strategies for Game Cube so your child can easily enjoy daydreaming time without having to stare at small white spot on the wall?
Parent #2
Sure, you can send my fellow teacher YOUR ideas for classroom discipline. Her email address is BITEME @ whereisyourteachingdegree.com. And while you're at it, can we have YOUR email address? We would like to send you OUR ideas for delivering the mail in a more timely fashion.
Parent #3
No, you may not have an extra copy of the new science books so that you can "go home and decide which lesson" you want to teach. See, you voted for President Bush. And, according to the man you insisted on electing again, you are not what he likes to calls "HIGHLY QUALIFIED". Sorry, Charlie! But here's the deal. Keep this hush hush, we won't tell, but... we'll let you come in and teach the new science curriculum if you let us come to your office and do a presentation/lesson on building better somethingorothers, since you are an engineer. Hey, it's doesn't matter that we don't really know what you do. Just give us the company manual and let us look at it and decide which THING we want to build. Ok?
Parent #4
Yes, that teacher IS going to use that "1st grade colors thing" for discipline. It's called Assertive Discipline (google Lee Cantor) and she has every right to use it if that is how she wants to manage her classroom. We are sorry that your child may have been saddened last year at having to be responsible for their behavior but it's 27 of them against one of us. We need management tools. Some choose Lee Cantor's approach and some choose other ways. As long as you have taught your child the proper way to manage their behavior at school, you won't have to worry about her ever having to color in her card with anything but the color green. Yellow and Red are SO traumatizing, we know! (cough, cough)
Parent #5
You are SO lucky your child is NOT in my classroom. You are lucky your child is allowed to attend this school. See... walking up to the teacher and announcing to him (first thing out of your mouth) "If you mess with my boy, I will kick your ass" is NOT a proper introduction according to Miss Manners. Your addition of "I am not threatening you, I tell all the teachers that" is not the appropriate follow up to your introductory statement.
You are lucky that you got a first year teacher that accepted your comment without escorting you to the door with one finger pointing to the door (you guess which one) while dialing 911 with the other finger -- as I would have done. I would have REFUSED your child in my classroom which is my right. I would have reported you to the police as threatening with a possible restraining order issued for you to not be withint 20 feet of my classroom even though your child is going to be attending the classroom next door to me (because he sure as hell is not going to be in my room).
Parent #6
Yes, that is a hint for you to leave when they came over the loudspeaker announcing "Thank you for attending Meet the Teacher Night" because you are now here 45 minnutes past the time that Meet the Teacher Night was supposed to be over and we have been here since 7:00 a.m. AND in an inservice. We have not eaten dinner. We have not used the restroom. Thank you for your understanding.
Parents # 7 - 28 (my new crop of parents - and I got a good crop, it appears! YEAH!)
THANK YOU for being sane! Thank you for caring enough to show up at Meet the Teacher night and asking questions about me and my family. Thank you for remembering that I don't do this for the MONEY, that I do it because I love watching your child's face light up when they FINALLY get long division or when they make oreo cookie sculptures after our science projects which measure if Double Stuf are REALLY double the stuff. Thank you for arriving during the ACTUAL hours of Meet the Teacher Night and not expecting me to be there an hour past the scheduled time. I appreciate that one act of respect more than you will ever know.
THANK YOU for your smiles, your care, and your concern that your little one will be with me for the next 9 months. I won't let you down.
posted by Indigo Robe | 8:39 AM
2 Comments:
That was GREAT!! I don't know if those outside the profession will get all of the humor, but I hope so. I will be checking back for more of this...but don't forget to go back and spell San Diego correctly.......Don't forget your conventions!!!
Arch
Who are you and why are you spell checking my blog?! (tee hee)
THANKS for the nice comments.
I will now go correct my spelling (hanging head) but DO remember, I wrote in the heat of the moment. :)
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