My Baby Daddy

Dear Sparky,
I tried to find a poem but they are all so blah compared to you. Instead, I will just share some pictures and some memories.

My first memory of you as a father is when we were in Reading, Pa. We got the call from the Dr. that we were waiting for - the one where they said the test was positive and I was pregnant with our first child. I turned to you and we hugged and laughed and cried. I felt you grow about 10 feet taller and about 50 times stronger. You just held me like you were there to protect me and nothing would harm me. It was a wonderful feeling.

I remember you holding my hair while I threw up every day for nearly 8 months. I remember you letting me sleep while you cooked your own dinner, too exhausted to even watch a little tv with you after working all day.

I remember you taking me to the hospital and holding my hand while they hooked me up to Pitocin to induce my labor. I remember you talking to me, keeping me calm when that evening, I began laboring AFTER they took me off the drugs. You were timing the contractions while I was going on and on about how DELICIOUS this hospital spaghetti dinner was. You went and told the nurse, without telling me, so I wouldn't worry or be scared.

I remember you sitting by my side, stroking my head, using your fist on my sore back, feeding me ice chips, talking to me in your soothing voice.

And with Little L, the memories are there as well. Rushing me to the E.R. and staying by my side. Holding my hands and talking me through the labor. The best memory of that time was being so drugged up I couldn't even stay awake. I felt so guilty that I couldn't hold Little L. But EVERY TIME I woke up, there you were...sitting in the hospital chair at the foot of my bed, holding our Little L... smiling and cooing at her. Even in my drugged up state, it gave me such peace and comfort that you were there to love her and care for her while I could not.

That one memory is how I will always see you. Loving. Smiling. Caring. Not because you had to but because you wanted to. You wanted to be a father.

I love you. I am so proud that you are the father of our children. Your quiet strength, your wisdom, your laughter is woven into the fabric of our lives.

Happy Father's Day, sweetheart.