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Mum likes reading, decorating, shopping with the girls, and Starbucks. She also feels funny writing in the 3rd person. Papa (also known as Sparky) is currently looking at me with a blank stare having asked him to add something about himself to the blog. (Now he wants to say something) The only thing he loves more in life than music and Coke is his wife and kids. (Awww...) :) Little Lotte is a genius on the computer and makes me fall over laughing every day with her quick wit. She loves computers and animals. Sweet Pea abandoned her family and moved to Phoenix for work and is now married as of 2/28/06. She is beautiful and smart and the most nurturing person I know. She gave me the greatest gift ever when she made me a grandmother. I am the proud Mum Mum to Andrew Christopher. There are no words to describe the joy of having a grandson!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Gradually remembering to write...


While I breathe in the last remaining moments of autumn before the turn of seasons to all thoughts Christmas, I was thinking about how I am living for weekends. Although that makes me sad, because I want to live IN THE MOMENT, at least I have weekends to look forward to.

It's not that I don't love my job. It just happens to be draining right now. Not due to the work, but the energy it requires in terms of people. They need to vent, they are stressed... I am there for them and they sense that so they stop by my office and dump a little stress... but when you have 30 teachers and many more paras and other staff, each time they stop by to drop off some stress, it seems to just fill up my tiny office. I seem to take it off their shoulders and place it on mine. For some reason, I absorb the negative energy, the problems seem to be MINE to fix, even though they are not and truly, I am usually powerless to fix them anyway. But one of my strengths and weaknesses is empathy. So I truly FEEL for these people. I completely understand what they are going through and I feel it too.

And my energy level gets drained and I have to go home and plug into my loving husband to recharge... but I wonder if I am draining him? He gave me some great advice this week about pulling my own energy back into myself - my creative energy, my loving energy, my own energy - so that I can save some for myself. I'm trying to be more mindful of that and kind of let the stress swirl around but not let it land on ME. Just let the wind take it way, not store it in my head or on my shoulders. (The source of pain for the last few weeks)

Today is a beautiful autumnal day (I LOVE THAT WORD and YES, I INTENTIONALLY found a way to include it in this sentence!) and I am going to spend more time with family this weekend - shopping, playing, visiting, laughing, loving - LIVING.

1 Comments:

Blogger Musicaljean said...

Wow! I should check "inactive" blogs more often! I did not know you had written these last two posts. Please don't stop your blog. I promise I'll still be reading it.

I so identify with being the one who absorbs everyone's else's stress. I have had some hard lessons this year in needing to turn away instead of trying so hard to fix everything for everybody.

6:04 AM  

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