"There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One is roots; the other, wings."

The third would be a college education at the college of their choice.

Unfortunately, I am unable to deliver. :-(

We have come to a roadblock. It seems that the nice lady who, at the Phoenix COME! TO! OUR! SCHOOL! WE! WILL! SAY! ANYTHING! YOU! WANT! TO! HEAR! Reception LIED. Well, she told a 2/3 lie.

You see, we went there seeking information on financial aid. The nice! admissions counselor explained that we didn't have to worry about money because once Little L had been in the state for one year and one day, she would then be considered a resident and pay in-state tuition!



I cried. I mean I literally stood there with tears rolling down my cheeks and cried. I thanked her for the information. I told Lauren we could borrow the first year's tuition and we could make it through because we would be able to pay in-state tution for her remaining 3 years! The nice! lady at San Diego State said so!

I know the nice! lady remembers me. I am sure not that many people get that emotional on her.



So we sent them (San Diego State University) even MORE money and have been spending all of our time and energy meeting deadlines, jumping through hoops, taking and scheduling tests, planning dorms, etc. etc.





I mentioned this "windfall" to someone at work who was gracious enough to not look me in the eye and call me stupid. This person merely stated that it sounds odd, that it's very hard to get in-state residency as a college student, and that all students would end up doing that and universities are, afterall, a for profit organization!

So me, being the Google Queen that I am, went on the ultimate search. I first contacted, by email and phone, SDSU. They would refer me over to another number. I called that number. The person was on vacation for a week. Sparky followed up. They told him pretty much the same thing the nice! lady in Phx told us. He said, "Can I have that in writing?" Uh.oh. Uh.... better call this number.

Yeah, fly that red flag, baby.

So I really start to research and I finally, FINALLY come across the answer.

There are three parts to residency. Without going into the details, yes - Little L could meet one requirement of opening a checking account or getting her license in the state of California. BUT, she also had to reside in the state for one day and one year and they would QUESTION her residency petition should she come home on spring and semester breaks.

The other requirement is for her to prove financial independence. There are a number of ways to do this:

1. Be 24 years old.
2. Be married.
3. Not be on your parents taxes for TWO YEARS PRIOR. (So even if we started to not claim her as a dependent, we would have to wait two more years and she would be a Sr. then.)
And there were more ways.

The point is - aint no way she can claim residency while a student EVEN THOUGH she did fully intend to make California her home after graduating.

Now San Diego State University has over $1000 of my money and they will refund about $750.00 of it because of cancelation fees and non-refundable fees, etc. All this wasted time! If only the nice! lady had just looked me in the eye and been straight with me, we would have known that day and we would have been looking for alternatives.

How does this woman sleep at night?

I broke the news to Little L two nights ago. She has taken it very, very well. I mean she cried, she was distraught at getting in somewhere now, she was mad, she was angry, she was accepting. And then she went through all of those emotions ( much like grieving) again and and again.

Today she is doing much better. Is it because of my great words of wisdom? Is it my motherly nurturing, my caring concern? My bright, hopeful attitude that the sun will come out tomorrow?

No. It's because her sister is the most amazing human being on the planet (equally with her sister!) and helped her through the emotions. She has been on the phone with her, listening, crying, talking, laughing, planning, counseling. Little L has now applied to the U of Az and what can we say? We love that we will have another WIldcat in the family. She declared Education as her major for lack of a better declaration at this point. He goal is to work in education and training of animals so for now, it will do.

He dream, as her sister so poetically worded it is "not dead, just delayed."

Little L can do the dream. She just might have to take a longer or different road to get there. And we all know what Robert Frost says about roads!

So this post is not meant to just be informational to family and friends. It's also meant as a tribute to the great beings of light that I happen to have the honor to call my daughters.

Their love for each other and their families, their strength and tenacity, their resolve... well, it leaves me speechless. The bond they share is a testament that something good can come from this wicked, scary world.




I love you, my angels. Thank you for teaching me something new everyday.