My oldest sister, Edna & Me

I was thinking about my sister, Edna, who lives in Tylertown, Mississippi. We have been watching the news this morning concerning Katrina. I decided to write to my sister here in town and ask if she had heard from Edna. As I hit the send button, an email appeared in my inbox.

"This maybe the last you hear from me for awhile. It looks like we're going to take a pretty bad hit from this hurricane. I'm staying in my house. I'm not leaving my animals and in a small town like this there is no place to take them and be sure they will be safe.

You can go to weather underground.com and type in my zip code, 39667, or Tylertown MS and see how bad it's going to be. I'm scared but I'm sure I'll live through it. Please keep me in your prayers.
Love, Mom aka Edna
we expect to be hit at dark tomorrow."

Wow. I've never had a loved one in the path of danger such as this. It really hit home but I was so glad I was online so that I could respond to her right away. She responded back:

"Thanks for responding so fast. I talked to Connie last evening, they werein Houston for a surprise party for George's 40 BD. They should be back home sometime today. I appreciate the prayers and lighting the candle. I really believe I'll be OK, but just in case I wanted you all to know how much I love you.
Give the girls a hug from their Aunt Edna.
And again thanks.
Love, Edna"

She wanted us to know how much she loves us.

I had no doubts about that. You see, even though she is 14 years older than I am, she was and will always be a very influential person in my life. The problem is -- she may not realize that. We never lived in the same house. But she would visit me every now and again (5 - 10 years between visits!) and HOW I ADMIRED HER! See, Edna is a blonde haired, blue eyed beauty. She wore HOT PANTS! She could even wear a bikini! And she smiled a lot and threw her head back when she laughed. I had no idea what a rough life she had because you would never have known it from her personality.

Edna brought me a book about Niagara Falls when I was about 12, which began a lifelong love of the Falls. When I was reallly little, she taught me how to brush my teeth (I'll bet she doesn't remember that but I DO!) Later in life, I found out what a great cook she is. (Hmm, starting to wonder if she is adopted!!!) And she is a complete animal lover, like my Little Lotte.

Even though we don't get to see each other as much as we might like, we are still family. Now it's my turn to let her know, nothing is going to happen to her. And now she will know how much I love her as well. Be well, Sis.


God be with you till we meet again;
Neath His wings protecting hide you;
Daily manna still provide you;
God be with you till we meet again

God be with you till we meet again;
Keep love’s banner floating o’er you,
Strike death’s threatening wave before you;
God be with you till we meet again.

Music of the Night

Here is a list of the most recent music that I've listened to on itunes instead of grading the social studies tests.
The music is in no particular order of preference.

1. Make Me Smile - Chicago
2. Criminal - Fiona Apple
3. Sara - Stevie Nicks
4. The Music of the Night - Phantom of the Opera (Andrew Lloyd Weber)
5. If These Walls Could Speak - Amy Grant
6. Against the Wind - Bob Segar
7. Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again - Phantom
8. Lost in Love - Air Supply (It's the only song I have by them)
9. The Heart of the Matter - Don Henley
10. End of Innocence - Don Henley
11. Lead Me On - Amy Grant
12. Let's Stay Together - Al Green
13. I've Got a Crush on You - Frank Sinatra
14. Fly Me to the Moon - Frank Sinatra
15. Slave - Britney Spears (what can I say?)
16. Walk This Way - Aerosmith
17. Do I Ever Cross Your Mind - Ray Charles & Bonnie Raitt
18. I Wish - Stevie Wonder
19. Drop It In the Slot - Tower of Power
20. Maybe I'm Amazed - Paul McCartney
21. Written in the Stone - Earth, Wind, & Fire
22. How Much I Feel - Ambrosia
23. Here We Are - Gloria Estefan
24. Sara Smile - Hall & Oates
25. Magic Man - Heart

Missing all things Pennsylvanian

I don't have many pictures of me as a child. The fact that we were very poor, (the rich people lived in the "projects" -- we couldn't afford that), my mother had cancer, (twice, she survived the first bout and lived for another 28 years), my mother didn't marry my father until I was 10, (she was still married to her first husband and I dunno what the story is there, really), I lived in the murder capitol of the world (Chester, Pa.) and the fact that my mom was probably too busy dodging bullets to take pictures MAY have something to do with the lack of childhood pictures I possess.

But here is one of maybe a dozen pictures of me as a child that I DO have. It was taken in the yard of a house that was rented by my Aunt Cora and her family. My mother is the woman in the photo. There are three girls in front of her. My cousin, Cheryl, my half sister, Jeannie, and me. I LOVE this picture for so many reasons. One being, where did I get those glasses and that purse? I LOVE how HAPPY I am in this photo. This picture sums up my whole personality. I DELIGHT in the little things in life that make one happy.

Everytime I look at this photo I am instantly flooded with memories. My cousin Cheryl and I were constant playmates. She had GRASS in her backyard. The house was rented but it was H-U-G-E. It had an UPSTAIRS. IT had more than three rooms! I lived in a tiny apartment with my parents that had a livingroom, bedroom, and a kitchen. I couldn't believe my cousin had her own bedroom and she had 4 other siblings living with her! She had an Easy-Bake oven. She had a baton and a scooter. She taught me how to take a glass jar and use an icepick to poke holes in the lid. This was our habitat for the lightning bugs we would catch on summer nights. After we got tired of them lighting up the jar, we would take them out of the jar and remove their little lights (I AM SICK just THINKING about that!) and make little "light rings" for our fingers.

Later, my cousin would teach me about smoking and french kissing. (I inhaled deeply and promptly blacked out -- never picked up a cigarette again) and as for the kissing, Sparky is the unfortunate benefactor of my first attempt at locking tongues. I think I almost pushed him over -- no one mentioned how much BALANCE it would take!

Eventually, my cousin and her family moved from that house. They moved out of Chester into another rented home in Prospect Park, Pa. The house is no longer there. It's been torn down along with every other building I remember or lived in as a child. But I've still got this picture. And today I have another really great pair of fancy sunglassess and an equally cool purse. All is well with the world. :)

And in a tie...it doesn't get any better!

Sparky can have his Dibs.... I'll take a quart of this every night!

We bought a DVD of a concert with Chicago and Earth, Wind and Fire. RUN to the store for this DVD. We spent three hours watching it and then another 3 hours playing all our Chicago & EWF albums and cd's.

Bobby Lamm is now referred to as Robert Lamm because he is over 60, I guess but that man is proof that men get better with age. He had this black, long sleeved buttoned shirt on. With black pants.... dreamy sigh. Everyone else was wearing sleeveless shirts. NOTE TO MEN: Don't wear sleeveless shirts. NOTE TO BOBBY LAMM : I'll be up all night, feel free to stop by.

Me and a pizza named Boboli

(This is what I would rather be eating - In -N- Out burger, my first picture ever with my digital camera last year!)
Sparky and Little Lotte went to the movies. A whole-complete-yes-whole night to myself!

What's a girl to do? I put in a boboli pizza (it's not that good) and have a Diet Dr. Pepper (it's very good) and there are brownies that keep calling my name from the kitchen but I haven't had time to answer them yet.

I haven't been alone a lot so it's funny. I didn't know what to do first. I think I MAY have even skipped in the hall as I was trying to decide exactly WHAT I wanted to do.

There was something really lame on tv but I don't know how to use the remote controls. No, wait... don't laugh. You don't understand. We have two (2) count 'em 2 remotes for every tv. I am not sure why. I think it has something to do with the fact that the sounds that emit from the tv aren't good enough for Sparky so he has to rig it all up to have the sounds come out through the stereo. Then there is the dvd, vcr, isomethingorothers, etc. and thus the two remote controls.

Therein, lies (lays?) my problem. I once walked into the room and tried to turn up the volume and I couldn't watch tv the rest of the night because I pushed the WRONG buttons on the WRONG remote and couldn't get back to 1st base. The fam tries to explain which 43 buttons to push (JUST to turn the dang thing on) but I cannot remember the order, even if I could remember which 43 buttons. So I sit here.... frozen... afraid to change NIGHTLINE because I will be banned from the pleasure of watching a future possible rerun of The King of Queens. If I could, I would pop in a DVD of Fawlty Towers but I :
1. Don't know how to play said DVD
2. Don't know which 37 buttons to push to deactivate the tv and play the DVD
3. Don't really even know which of the black and silver rectangular boxes on the entertainment IS actually the DVD

Sigh... So I sit here, a candle lit, listening to some old man on Nightline talk about the media and sex and how children are exposed too much to sex on tv and I see NIGHTLINE showing constantly changing images of said sex scenes. I mean come on.. the kids are telling ALL of their friends in 4th grade to watch the show tonight 'cause they are going to be on TV and then these kids get exposed to more images that NIGHTLINE is saying are being shown on tv too much. Am I the ONLY one who see the irony in this?

Time for a Diet Dr. Pepper refill.

Sparky -- Just Say NO!

Sparky has been spending time lately with a petite little thing. She seduces him with her white, silky, smooth body encased in a dark, velvet coat. And she is NOT cheap! It started innocently enough. He left the house one day to pick up a few items for me. He met her in the frozen food isle. I can't blame him. It was over 110 degrees in the desert heat and here was this soothing, cool -- cold even -- luscious treat just calling to him. I am sure had I been with him, he would have thought twice before being seduced by this siren but the voice of reason (that would be me) was not there with him. He fell. And he fell hard. Before long, he was bringing her home every night. He enticed me to try and see it from his point of view. He offered to share! Tonight, he even called me on his way home from work and asked if he could pick her up yet AGAIN! How can I say no to my Sparky?! I admit it... I indulge him.

But at $5.00 a pop, this madness has GOT to end! We are spending $35.00 a week JUST on these stupid little DIBS! And it's been about 3 weeks!!! That's... umm... a lot of money! (I REFUSE to do math after 5:00 p.m.) My only hope is that the heat in the desert starts to temper itself around the end of October. That's 3 more months. That's $140.00 x 3. (Again, you do the math.) The other golden ticket might be the contest they are running. I can win him a year's supply of DIBS with a picture. I've got my camera ready and my thinking cap on. I am gonna get me some free DIBS! :)

Happy Birthday, Princess!

My Dearest Sweet Pea,

I chose this picture because it makes me think that you might be feeling this way right now. The view is "fuzzy"... you just spent 4 years of your life preparing for graduation from college and you are at this standstill. Unsure of where you are going, worried about where you will end up. (And it didn't help that you asked for career advice and I turned all mother on you)

But here's the truth. The fuzzy view will always be there. And that's a good thing. When things are absolutely clear, they are boring -- and here's another thing....when things are clear, you can see too much of the ugly in the world. Not that I am telling you to wear your rose colored glasses -- but it's ok to feel a little fuzzy. It's means you will never settle. It means that you know you haven't arrived just because some university took your $20,000 and gave you a piece of paper with your full name printed on it. It means that you are striving and will always strive to get a "better picture". It means that you have choices. When my grandmother was much, much younger than you, she had a VERY clear view of her life. She knew exactly what she would be doing until the day she died. YOU, on the other hand, get to create your life. You are the author of your book. Enjoy writing it!

You are 22 on August 9th. I can't believe I have a 22 year old daughter. The minute I found out I was pregnant with you I felt this fierce protectiveness. I knew it was my job to make things good and right for you. I even imagined you as a grown-up -- I was realistic enough to know that you would abandon me ... er, I mean move out and into your own life one day. I still want to protect you. I want to keep you from pain and hardship and heartache. That will never, ever go away. But I know I can't keep you from the fuzzy view. But you must remember this: although the view is fuzzy - the crystal clear fact is that I love you and am proud of you. I think you are the bravest, smartest, most beautiful, warm, nurturing, funny, respectful, caring, fantastic creature that ever came from my body 22 years ago. Happy Birthday, Baby Girl.

26 Years but it feels like 27...

My sweet husband was driving me to work this morning and turned to me:

Sparky: So what is this, our 27th anniversary?

Me: What?!?! I thought it was our 26th? Are you kidding me?

Sparky: Ok, wait... let me count... oh, you're right. It's 26!

Me: It just FEELS like 27, right?!
Hahaha.

Here's a quote... wish I wrote it, but I feel it every day.

I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that.

- Brian Andreas

Happy (26th) Anniversary, Sweetheart. I adore you. I love you.
M